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Concern with intimate stress should not dissuade folks from pursuing cross-gender relationships.

Probably the most famous examples of class distinctions in Vance Packard’s hugely influential bestseller, The reputation Seekers, centered on how two married people would stay whenever traveling together in an automobile. Working-class partners would place the guys right in front while the women in returning to emphasize male domination, Packard had written, while middle-class couples would stay husbands and spouses together to be able to emphasize the centrality regarding the wedding relationship. For affluent partners, nevertheless, the “right thing” should be to set the spouse in one few utilizing the spouse from another so that you can allow flirtation and a frisson of erotic excitement.

Packard’s description popped into my mind more often than once when I took and attended component in final thirty days’s Bold Boundaries meeting in Chicago. Organized by evangelical Christians but speakers that are featuring individuals from a great many other backgrounds, Bold Boundaries challenged the presumption that Packard and others make: that cross-sex friendships are often faced with intimate stress and risk. Gents and ladies are buddies, every presenter in the meeting argued, and not only due to their partners. In a gesture that suggests exactly how far evangelicalism has developed, nearly every presenter acknowledged the heteronormative framing for the discussion that is whole with a few pointing away that straights had much to understand from gays and lesbians about navigating relationship. The theory that lust makes platonic relationship impossible between right women and men ended up being, individuals insisted, since antiquated as the motor automobiles for which Packard’s topics arranged on their own over fifty percent a hundred years ago. Continue reading →